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Across the United States, an estimated 53 million people provide care for an older adult or someone living with illness or a disability. In many cases, caring for aging parents often comes while balancing the demands of one’s own career and family. The reality for these caregivers is a constant juggling act, leaving little time to focus on their own health and well-being.
When a loved one's well-being is the priority, caregivers often neglect their own needs. Self-care becomes an afterthought, and the signs of burnout — exhaustion, irritability, feelings of isolation — are often dismissed or ignored. This, coupled with navigating the complexities of elder care such as medical appointments, medication management, and financial planning, takes a significant toll. These practical challenges of providing daily or weekly care, can lead to stress and even depression.
“Caregiving can be a deeply rewarding experience, but it's also undeniably demanding,” explains Doug Henry, PhD, vice president and medical director of Enterprise Behavioral Health at Highmark Health. "Caregiving requires extraordinary amounts of patience. It can be repetitive and, at times, emotionally draining.”
With insights from Dr. Henry, this article explores the challenges caregivers face and offers practical strategies for managing stress and prioritizing well-being. We’ll also share how a health plan member managed her mental health while caring for her 95-year-old mother in the video below.
“The idea of seeking help for stress, grief, or mental health concerns may feel like a luxury that caregivers can’t afford, both in terms of time and resources. But with the rise of virtual counseling, prioritizing one’s mental health is easier than ever,” says Dr. Henry. “The convenience and flexibility of programs like Mental Well-Being Powered by Spring Health can provide vital access to care.”
Natalie, a Medicare Advantage member, bravely shares how she navigated the emotional toll of caregiving with accessible support through Mental Well-Being.
Natalie: I knew I was struggling. I just knew I wasn’t handling life well.
My mom was very outgoing, she had a little sports car with a handicapped sticker on it. She would just fly around Roanoke in her little car going to her little meetings. Just loving life.
Davis and I don’t have any sisters and brothers. We’re both only children. So we’re just a tag team for each other once again. It wasn’t until the pandemic that my mom stopped driving and going to her bible study, and we saw a decline. I didn’t know anything about elder care and what comes next. I just didn’t know what to do. Even waking up in the morning, I had trouble making decisions on what to eat. I just wasn’t always thinking clearly.
I received a letter in the mail. It was from Highmark and it had information on Spring Health counseling. I kept thinking, oh I don’t know how much this is going to cost. I don’t know if I’m going to have time to do this. Finally one day, it got to the point where I thought I’m going to call them.
I felt like I had connected with somebody finally that could maybe help me. I didn't have to go anywhere. I could be in the house. I could do it as telehealth. And that was the important factor to me.
The counselor that I worked with, she suggested the journaling, and that was kind of a relief that at night, when I was really, really tired, I would just kind of journal how my day was going, and just praying that God would help me and see me through it. A lot of it was prayers.
Having Mental Well-Being through the Highmark Health Plan, means that I will always have someone to turn to.
The Saturday that mom told me, I can't do this anymore. She kept saying to me, I don't want you to cry. You're going to be okay. But it was still hard. But because of talking with the counselor, it was like I still had hope. I just had hope that I was going to be okay. It was a lifesaver.
I don't know what I would have done after mom passed if it hadn't have been for Spring Health and knowing that life was going to go on and I needed to focus on the good moments.
“Seeking mental health support is not separate from your caregiving responsibilities,” says Dr. Henry. He uses the analogy of putting on your own oxygen mask first on an airplane, emphasizing that it is necessary to prioritize your own well-being to effectively care for others. He stresses that seeking therapy or practicing mindfulness isn't selfish; it's "absolutely renewing you for your relationship with others and for others."
To mitigate the stress associated with caregiving and enhance well-being for both caregiver and loved one, Dr. Henry suggests implementing these strategies:
Embrace shared activities: "There are many activities that are restorative for both the caregiver and the loved one being cared for," says Dr. Henry. "Simply sitting outside in a place that engages nature, either a park or a backyard can make all the difference in the world. Aim for 20 minutes a day, preferably in the morning, to take advantage of the mood-boosting effects of morning light. These shared moments can provide a sense of connection and purpose for both of you.”
Actively seek and accept support from others: “Caregiving doesn't have to be a solitary journey. Reach out to family, friends, and community resources for assistance,” he says. “Don't be afraid to delegate tasks or ask for help with errands, transportation, or even just a listening ear. Explore local caregiver support groups, senior centers, and social service agencies.”
Set realistic expectations: As Dr. Henry notes, it’s important to move away from "the tyranny of the shoulds. Avoid placing unrealistic demands on yourself. Recognize your limitations and focus on doing your best, rather than striving for an unattainable ideal.”
Nurture social connections to combat feelings of isolation: “Social isolation is a significant challenge for many caregivers,” he says. “Make a conscious effort to maintain connections with friends and family, even if it's just through phone calls or virtual visits.”
Prioritize physical and mental health through regular self-care and medical checkups: “Don't neglect your own physical and mental health needs. Schedule regular medical appointments, eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep,” says Dr. Henry. “Make time for activities you enjoy, whether it's reading, listening to music, or pursuing a hobby. Mental health support is just another aspect of overall health hygiene as ordinary and needed as brushing your teeth."
Make a commitment to your well-being by implementing these strategies. Whether you are currently a caregiver or not, you can also discover more valuable information and links on Highmark’s dedicated Mental Health Resources page.
Doug Henry, PhD, is vice president and medical director of Enterprise Behavioral Health at Highmark Health, a $29 billion national, blended health organization that includes one of America’s largest Blue Cross Blue Shield insurers and a growing regional hospital and physician network. Based in Pittsburgh, Pa., Highmark Health’s 44,000 employees serve millions of customers nationwide through the nonprofit organization’s affiliated businesses, including Highmark Inc., Allegheny Health Network, HM Insurance Group, United Concordia Dental and enGen.
In his current role, Dr. Henry leads the development and implementation of a comprehensive enterprise mental behavioral health strategy focused on improving access, reducing stigma, and improving overall quality of mental behavioral health care. He is committed to addressing the full spectrum of mental health needs, from early intervention and prevention to specialized care for complex conditions.
Dr. Henry is a clinical psychologist licensed in Pennsylvania and California and brings over 20 years of experience in professional applied psychology including inpatient, outpatient, and administrative assignments.
Attracted by the integrated payer-provider model, and emphasis on patient-centered treatment, Dr. Henry initially joined the enterprise as a vice president for AHN Psychiatry and Behavioral Health Institute in 2017.
Prior to joining AHN, Dr. Henry served as clinical administrator at Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic for UPMC Child and Adolescent Behavioral Health Services, the UPMC Center for Autism and Developmental Disorders, and the UPMC Center for Eating Disorders.
Dr. Henry’s interests focus on providing broader access to the highest quality services for adults and families coping with mental illness and/or developmental challenges.
Highmark Health and its subsidiaries and affiliates comprise a national blended health organization that employs more than 42,000 people and serves millions of Americans across the country.
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